2004-10-05 - 10:30 p.m.

My dear, dear Louise,

I remember singing to you in my broken, off key voice. I remember singing "Passenger Seat", especially the part that goes:

If you'll be embarrassed, then I'll be your pride.
If you need directions, then I'll be your guide.
For all Time. For all Time.

I broke that promise. Was there a single promise I made you which I did not break?

I promised you I would be a good Christian. I wasn't and I'm not and I never will be.

I promised you the life of a minister's wife and I never completed a single application to seminary.

I promised you I would be there no matter what and now I am gone.

And there isn't anything I can do to make that up to you. If it matters, I'm sorry. I know it doesn't. I'm just saying it anyway.



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