2004-10-31 - 12:34 a.m.

Well, social engagements aren't my strong point. While I would like to imagine myself as a suave sophisticate who can down martinis all night while making witticisms that would make even the most cynical members of the Algonquin Roundtable smirk with delight, the fact of the matter is that I am no damn good at these things. Even a retarded monkey would be superjacent to me on a scale which measured the ability to make chit-chat. Case in point: Friday night I go, along with Jen and her fiance, Eric to a pumpkin carving party. I just didn't know how to insert myself into any conversations. The only conversation I had was about work, and I hate work. I hate talking about work on my off hours, especially. But, there you have it.

Actually, there are some very specific situations in which I do like to talk about work, but not at parties.

So how the fuck do you mingle? I mean, really; does anyone out there know some secret mingling tactic that I do not?

I just got back from a potluck. I know, everyone of you is shaking your head in disbelief. Some of you may even be shaking two heads in disbelief. But it is true. I have had two social engagements in two days. And, I have another one tomorrow.

The potluck went much better than the pumpkin carving party. A lot fewer knives were being brandished. And that is always a good thing. Why was it better? For one thing, there were fewer people and for the other thing they were older. I seem to only get along with people who are older than me with the obvious exceptions of Jen and Stefanie. And Heather, too, but I'm not going to put a link to her livejournal here to save her that embarrassment.

Speaking of Heather, she gave me some advice about this potluck tonight. She suggested that I try to find people who were having a harder time socializing than I was. I followed that advice and it worked out pretty well. I managed to find one or two people tonight to whom I was superjacent on the social scale. Or, at least I thought I was. It turns out that they knew more people than I did and that I was just fooling myself. I tried, though.

Anyway, I've got to get ready for a... hold on to your hats! ... DATE tomorrow. What is the world coming to?

Don't forget to change you clocks!

And now I need to get myself to bed. It takes me a while to get to sleep when the cat tries to remain superjacent to me all night, digging his claws into my stomach.


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