2005-03-14 - 11:06 a.m.

Hey, all. Loads of fun this weekend. Wrote a new survey. Please fill it out. As a preview, here are the questions:
1. Tainted love or tainted sauce?
2. Why does my cat hover over me at night? Is he a pawn in some larger scheme or does he have his own hidden agenda?
3. Ancient decrepit ancestral manse in rural New England or roving the sewers of Europe?
4. Will it ever stop snowing? Or is this a sign that it's time to finally build a weather control device?

The electricity was still out when I got home Friday night. (Sorry Oomm, you'll have to wait just a little longer for your CD.) It wasn't nearly as bad as you'd expect. I found a lot of time to do things I had been putting off, like putting a battery into my The Simpson's Interactive Comic Book Shop Environment so I can hear comic book guy say "Oh, I've wasted my life" over and over again until I collapse in fits of laughter and ironically realize that I, too, am wasting my life and should expect to be incinerated by a neutron bomb at any moment.

Plus, it was all horror-movie-like wandering around my house in the dark with only a flashlight. Every unexpected noise could be some monster, and even the voices in my head got into the game and started talking in spooky (well, spookier) voices saying things like "Get out!" or "I'll swallow your soul!". A fun time was had by all my personalities.

I made a lot of decisions this weekend. First off, I'm getting rid of my TV. Second. I've decided to move my sleeping quarters from the room I'm in now (which is technically the living room) into one of the two, small bedrooms so that I can use the living room as a living room. I know, exciting stuff, huh?

My last (and biggest) decision was this: I'm going to throw a dinner party. I know, I know! Me? Throw a dinner party? I'm not even sure I'm capable of eating without smearing food on myself, the walls, the cat, etc... and I'm actually thinking about having people over to eat at the same time and in the same room as me? Well, I seem to have these circles of friends which never seem to cross and I just thought it would be nice to get them all in the same room at the same time. As for the food smearing, maybe I'll eat before everyone arrives and pretend I've had my jaw wired shut or something. Does that sound like a good plan? I just hope my exotic, man-eating sharks are well-behaved. Nothing can ruin a dinner party faster than super-intelligent sharks rebelling against their cruel overlord except perhaps for spots on the drinking glasses. Luckily I don't own any glasses, so everyone will be drinking out of plastic cups.

Why plastic cups? Well, I use to keep nice glassware around, but I found that I would sometimes fling the glasses at the wall just to watch them shatter into millions of tiny pieces. That is one expensive hobby, let me tell you. So, since I can't be trusted with anything glass (or anything sharp, for that matter - or at least that is what the courts tell me), plastic it will have to be.

Lastly, an unprecedented number of people added me to their buddy lists on Sunday. Three people in one day. If you were one of them (or anyone who has added me as a buddy and hasn't introduced yourself), please leave a note or post a comment or sign the guestbook or something. I love hearing from people who read my diary. I checked out the profiles of these three people and two of them had put comments about me in their buddy list. Both of those two made reference to nose coffee. To this fact I have two responses:
1 - You should be ashamed of yourselves! This sort of humor is gross and disgusting and vile.
2 - I love you very, very much. I have finally found my audience. Nose coffee for everyone! On the house! (Mostly on the walls, really. My aim still needs work)

Reading The Master and Margarita by by Mikhail Bulgakov

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