2005-04-01 - 10:31 a.m.

250 words went faster than I expected. I think this wont be so hard. When I woke up I was both nervous and excited.

the IVR programmer just gave me a free vanilla chai from the faux Starbucks across the street. He said he didn't know it was going to be so sweet. Talk about lying to one's self! It's Starbucks, it's a yuppie drink, it's going to be high in fructose, friend. I just hope it isn't part of some weird April Fool's day joke. Oh, and we're going to play a joke on one of the recent hires. We're all going to tell him we dreamed we were druids last night. Suddenly, as I write this, it doesn't sound as funny. Hmm... maybe I just like saying the word "druid". Oh, and it doesn't help that our victim, Jack, looks like he played D&D all through High School.




My cat is getting really fat. Poor kitty. I'm giving him half rations until he trims down a bit. He's gotta be svelte in case we need to flee. Right now I'm not sure I could cram him into the kitty carrier. Or is it a "kitty karrier"? I hope not. I hate cutesy spelling. Except for the word "shoppe". Oh, that always makes me laugh. And "olde". You can't go wrong with adding extra "e"s on to things. For example:

Please extinguish me! I am oxidizing rapidly!
is not funny. However
Please extinguishe mee! I am oxidizinge rapidly!
has some extra "e"s thrown in. It'll get even funnier this way:
Please ye, extinguishe mee! I am oxidizinge rapidly, kind sir!
Now it's fit for a renfaire. Now just imagine a druid saying it. Druid...heh...heh...

Anyway, if we have to flee, I may need a shoehorn to cram poor Smitey into his karrier. It should be fun explaining to the border guards why I have a 200 lbs of kitty overflowing out of a plastic carry-on. I wonder if he'll fit into the overhead compartment. I guess I shouldn't worry too much. It's been weeks since I've had to wander the sewers in order to avoid detection while plotting a daring escape. What's the likelihood of causing two diplomatic incidents in as many months? It has to be less than 50-50 and I'm feeling lucky.


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