2005-05-27 - 8:36 a.m.

If someone says something over and over again I always think that they are lying. The first friend I lost when I became a Christian - I should have seen it coming because he said over and over again how happy he was for me. Why would he repeat it so much unless it weren't true?

Anyway, from the day I told him I had become a Christian, he stopped trusting me and slowly turned away from me. His (at the time) fiance stuck it out a little longer, but she, too, dropped out of my life at the first convenient point. That didn't surprise me as much. It still hurt at the time. It continues to hurt now, but I actually count it as a blessing. In a way, their ditching me honored what had happened to me as something real and important.

I have other friends and family who think I've gone mad or turned on them, but they aren't honest enough to tell me that to my face. My father is an exception. At every opportunity he tells me he thinks I've done something horrible. Good for him! Honesty is a virtue and if your own father can't tell you the truth, who can?

As for the others, they have to live with their own conscience and if they can sleep easily thinking I've gone insane and not saying anything... well, that's fine for them.


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