Ok. Here is the first ever EVER Crateobscure Contest. You see, my d-land banners have run out and I have 10,000 impressions left to use. I don't want to use one of my old banners because the damn things become less effective as they run. And, I'm just too damn lazy to come up with a new banner of my own. So here is the deal, you come up with some text that can fit easily in a 468x60 banner, that includes no references to sex or the use of profanity, or for you graphically-minded readers out there, you could even produce a complete banner including graphics or whatever. In either case, please don't violate any copyright laws or anything. I love you guys, but I ain't going to get sued for you.

So, what does the winner get? It's a surprise. Once I determine which entry is the best using my scientifically accurate process of picking whichever one I feel like at the time, I will ask the lucky winner to supply me with a postal address where I will mail a box of yet-to-be-determined goodies. Don't worry, I wont send any dead animals or anything like that (without specific permission from the addressee).

The deadline is November 22nd and I will pick the winner sometime before the end of Nobember. To enter, just email me the text or completed 468x60 banner at [email protected] by midnight EST on November 22nd.

And hurry up! Because each time my page views drop, my self-esteem takes a gigantic tumble! If I throw myself under a charging rhinoceros it will be the fault of all of you lazy people who wont help me in my time of desperate need!

What else is new...

I'm starting to get a little nervous about the Sox being in the World Series. I'm worried that things will get out of hand and Boston "will look like Detroit on Hell Night" as my boss put it so aptly. Is Hell Night real? Or was that just something from The Crow? What a great movie that was.

I've started the apology process and so far people have been receptive. I'm 2/3rds of the way done. That's right I've managed to talk to two out of my three friends in a 24-hour period of time. God, I'm pathetic.

Been thinking a lot about religion lately. What? Crate is pondering the imponderables? Yes, it's true. As many of you know, I used to be a regular "Joe Churchy", going every Sunday and putting money in the collection plate and being in a bible study group - the whole 9 yards - but for various reasons I left all of that behind. I didn't really fit into that world. Everyone was so ... nice ... they would smile all the time and talk about pleasant things. Yeeech! They never wanted to talk about David Cronenberg movies or William S. Burroughs novels or cleveland steamers or the works of H. P Lovecraft or anything fun. It was always Veggie Tales this and Touched by an Angel that. Even the hippest of the crowed would limit their discussion of popular culture to The Matrix. I hate to break it to you guys but The Matrix fucking sucked! And don't get me started on Touched by an Angel... just don't, ok?

Bottom line is I'm not a nice guy and the niceness was making me sick. I just wanted a horde of flesh eating zombies to pour into the sanctuary just so that they would be forced to confront some ugliness. But as much as I prayed, no flesh eating zombies ever showed up. The closest we got to flesh eating was the Eucharist.

I bring this up because while I was at Jena's wedding I took communion for the first time in ages and something really happened. I mean, I felt almost like I was high. Even the next day, I was accused of being weird by my friend Stefanie. I don't know quite what to make of all this. I mean, if I get seen at a church, I might loose my street cred with the kids.

Speaking of Stefanie, she came by last night to meet Mr. Smitey. Smitey took to her pretty well and I got a little jealous, but that is life. If my kitty likes her better than me, hey, that is his problem to deal with. We had pizza and she taught me about pinhole cameras and she made me get all filthy with charcoal drawing and junk and a good time was had by all. Except for the filth part... Actually it wasn't too bad. I thought it would be much worse. I mean, my hands were like black! Ugh...

I guess I'm kind of rambling. I just haven't been frothing mad lately. Perhaps tomorrow.

P.S. Recently it has been pointed out that people can easily confuse my friend Jena with my friend Jen. They are, in fact, two different people. Jen I see all the time and consider a dear friend. Jena I rarely see and as much as I like her, she isn't one of my "confide my deep secrets" friends.

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