2005-05-31 - 9:33 p.m.

First off, the big news. I got a new keyboard! One of the reasons I usually write my entries at work is because my laptop at home is so uncomfy for typing. Well, since I have decided that I need to spend more of my time at work actually working, I had to figure out a way out of this dilemma. My initial reaction was "Well, I guess I'll have to give up DLand" but that didn't seem right. My second plan was to win the lottery but that presented certain logistical problems. I finally decided to replace my boss with a mandroid who would then order me to spend at least two hours a day working on my dland page. You know, an hour and a half for writing and then maybe a half hour to play with my template. No big whoop. This plan left me with the embarrassing task of hiding yet another body and my friend, it's easier said than done. People are starting to talk about how fat my Kitty Pot Pie is getting.

Then I had a flash of insight! Why not update at home? Well, there's that stupid tiny laptop keyboard. I just can't comfortably type on that thing and my laptop is totally falling apart and blah blah blah. Well, long story short, I turned back the alien invasion and bought myself a new keyboard! "Woo-hoo" if I do say so myself.

So tonight I am writing. And tomorrow morning, before work, I shall post. Oh, wait. I mean earlier this morning I posted what I wrote last night which happens to be right now. Or maybe I'll write at night and then post at night? Then this whole paragraph will be a total waste of time, but who cares? Not me, because I have a brand new keyboard! And it only cost me 12.99 + tax. What a bahahhhguuhhuhunn! <drool/> Be cool, Richie baby. Don't drool. But I love drooling. Heheheheh

Anyway, my life is more than just keyboards and defending the Earth from hideous doom at the hands of invaders from beyond the Hollywood super stars. There is also quite a lot of introspection and gibbering madness. For example, I've noticed recently that I have totally stopped listening to music. This is quite a thing considering that I love music. But I have noticed a cycle where I will just stop listening to music for a certain number of days or even a week or two and then start again. What causes this? I'm not totally sure, yet., I'll keep you updated as fever dreams and theories percolate.

Actually, I just turned on "Million Young" by American Analog Set, so I guess my dry spell is over. Time to do the moron dance! Be back in a minute.

Well, the groceries arrived just as the song began so I had to start over. Anyway, let's dance, baby!

Okay, that was pretty cathartic and enjoyable. The cat still wont dance with me. He did get a bit big for his britches when grocery man was carrying the groceries to the kitchen. He stuck his little grand moff head out the door. Silly kitty. Your governors powers do not extend past the boundaries of this apartment. You would be kidnapped and held hostage by the rebel traitors!

Anyway, this morning (or is it yesterday morning for you?) I was picking up my coffee to drink while walking to work and the owner of the coffee shop asked me my name. Of course, I assumed that I misheard him and said "Excuse me?". So he repeated the question and introduced himself as "Mash. As in 'mashed potatoes'". Weird, huh? In all the years I've lived here, he is the first person to ask me my name.

Oh, and last night, I actually called John and asked if he wanted to have dinner sometime this week. I spoke only to his answering machine because God is gracious and speaking to an actual person would be just too much. John hasn't called back so maybe I'm a total dork. Or not.

Also, Brenna Kate and her hubby Roy are moving in a couple of weeks and I agreed to help them without them having to rely on trickery or force. Weird. Just so weird. It's almost as if I care for them. But that isn't possible as I am merely an extension of the Jovian hive mind incapable of what these filthy humans call feelings.

...End Transmission...

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